Conscious Connection by Willemijn Laan
Ever since I’m an adult I’ve been super interested and, according to some around me, open about the subject of sex and lovemaking. I was always open to having different types of sexual experiences.
But the older I got, the more I felt I was still missing something, I really hoped and actually expected that there would be more possible. For example, looking at people practicing tantra. That always looked mesmerizing to me. It only took me some years to figure out how to get to what I wanted.
Now, being in my 40s and experiencing the power of conscious living for some years. I noticed an amazing shift in my sexuality. I’m a lot more connected to the sensations in my body, I’m being able to give space to the energy that is going through me, I’m more and more committed to love and appreciation for my partner and open to wonder and curiosity. And this all seems to lead to having mind-blowing, over-the-moon, never thought this could happen without forbidden substances, totally spaced-out lovemaking…
But how do you practically get to practice this in the bedroom (or anywhere else)? First and foremost, and I know this doesn’t sound sexy, a lot has to do with commitment.
A commitment without the doors being slightly open to the left or right, to deeply connect to your partner. This is what really makes a difference. You should really want this with the person you are with at the moment. Not just for 90% or 95%, but commit fully to having this experience together and not wanting it with someone else, or actually wanting to be somewhere else in general or be grocery shopping in your mind. This will get your mind off the connection and it will break it. Bringing down the energy that you’re trying to build up.
If you feel this is something you are not ready to do or can not do right now because there is a lot standing in between you and your partner, you’d like to find out what is in the way and find a way to openly talk about it with your partner first. If you don’t know how, check out my Conscious Connection course or schedule Coaching with me here.
When you feel there is nothing in the way, it’s about choosing to do what feels right in the moment, about expressing all that feels, smells and looks beautiful, about expressing anything that is happening inside of you; sounds, or movements, or touch or words. Being able to express yourself fully during lovemaking is one way to experience something totally new.
So the main ‘techniques’ if you like to give it a name, are a total commitment to expressing all of your own feelings and to focus on all that you love about your (bed) partner. Getting distracted by going through household chores in your mind or focusing on something you don’t like about your partner (either physically or mentally) is something that immediately takes away the right energy. You can compare the focus that you want to have with meditation, where you try to empty your mind and just be in the moment. And whenever you feel yourself getting distracted, kindly bring yourself back into the moment. This is exactly what you want to be doing during lovemaking if you want to have a kind of spiritual and transcendental experience.
Let it all be purely about the experience of love and your senses, not the end result. The more you focus on the present, on the delicious sensations that take you higher and higher you’re not even considering stopping. Usually, the lovemaking with me and my partner and can be 1,5 hours of pure bliss and we still don’t see it go anywhere less.
Love,
Willemijn