In the middle of all the craziness... There is you... by Willemijn Laan
For many, many times I’ve called the years 2020 and 2021 ‘craziness’ and the years of ‘I don’t know’… Because whoever I would talk to, everybody would sooner or later say “I don’t know!’ about what they’re expecting to happen next with their lives, work or business…
The ‘I don’t knows’ mainly came up because of covid-19 lockdowns and major changes in how people would react, communicate and do relate with them. The pandemic changed the game for a lot of us and is asking for a high level of adaptability…And will continue to do so in 2022.
But the craziness didn’t only come because of covid-19.
For some of us other major life changes happened such as divorce (who’s with me!?), the death of a family member or close friend, losing big projects… Well, you know… life. It all continues to happen. Covid or no Covid… But what do you do when you feel surrounded by craziness? When it feels like you don’t know anything anymore… When all that you knew is now new… And it feels like you don’t have any control over what is happening around you?
You have to let go….
Yes. Let go.
Easier said than done.
Because how do we let go of something we don’t want to let go of? How do we let go if we’re afraid of what will happen after?
To illustrate how I deal with letting go, I’ll tell you a bit about me…
2020 & 2021 gave me some immense challenges… I had to let go of all my plans for my business rasalila. Due to covid-19, we had to close our doors for almost 11 months in total.
This gave me a lot of stress, feelings of losing control over my business, fear of losing the whole of it or not being able to pay the bills, for the team, for my family, for me…
I also experienced great grief, because of the separation between me and my husband. After being together for over 16 years and having two beautiful children. This gave me a feeling of sadness I’d never experienced before. Letting go of a life that I knew for the greater part of my adult life is definitely not easy. Plus there was an immense (and unrealistic) fear of losing my children.
And this all came together at times…
But as the title of this blog says: In the middle of all the craziness… There is You.
And that was what I realized. I started to go through a set of questions every time I felt the craziness overwhelm coming up:
- HOW do I feel?
- 2. Ok… but HOW do I really feel?
Because the first reaction was always a bit too easy and on the surface… and often not really what was going on. If it was sadness I’d ask myself; What am I sad about? If it was fear; what am I afraid of? Whatever feeling it was, I’d ask myself WHAT it was that made me feel this way. I’d sit with this feeling for a while.
Really going through the whole of it within every part of my body. Even if it was uncomfortable. Especially when it was uncomfortable. After a while, the uncomfortable feeling would always settle down.
- Then I’d ask… WHY do I feel this way?
The funny thing was that often when I came to the answer of this question I would already feel a lot better. Seeing that most of what I was feeling was a fear of what might happen in the future, but wasn’t happening in this moment at all. And if it did happen, the fact that I knew exactly what I was angry, fearful or sad about gave me the space to give it a place to rest.
- At that moment I’d ask myself; HOW do I want to feel instead? Knowing how I wanted to feel, gave me the option to activate this feeling.
- So, the last question would be; What can I do to activate this feeling right now, and in the coming days?
If you’d ask me, these questions are key to keeping sane in crazy times. They give a peace of mind and a level of acceptance of whatever is happening around you; you’re safe with just you. Because THAT my dear, you do have control over. Always…
Free Download
For everyone who finds themselves in the middle of craziness every now and then, I’ve made a Roadmap that you can download for FREE (mouse click and save) on this page. The download gives you the exact steps of how to find your way through the craziness and find calmness and acceptance and YOU in the middle of it:
Love,
Willemijn